I only tried what I really wanted to do

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It was the first experience of cold sweat.
Oh my god, my turn is coming soon.
The place was Boston, and I attended an international conference and was waiting for the presentation.
Why did I accept such a job...

--

Two months ago,
I transferred the job from an instructor who grew up system engineers in Kanagawa's suburbs to a malware analyst near Akasaka.
A lot of malware sent every day, it was full of creativity even as a minion of evil, and there were many works of scales from the eyes, and I was fulfilling every day.

A few weeks after I was transferred, I was asked by the international department to attend the meeting.
"Ikupapa-san, at this conference, your predecessor was in charge of it. Since there is no one to go, can you join?"
As a newcomer, I wondered why I had to do the work of my predecessor...

I couldn't refuse.

Most of the people I worked in were fluent in English, and I could have done it.
About a month after that, I studied hard English.
Probably the most studied thing in my life.

--

I don't clearly remember what I said in the presentation.
In the last question, do you have any questions? I didn't want you to ask a question.

In this presentation, I felt a sense of defeat that I had never experienced before.
No more regrets, let's study English more!
It was a natural development.

I had never studied English seriously, so I asked a colleague about the TOEIC score.
"Hmm, I haven't taken the test recently, but I think it's about 800 points" or "I got 900 during my school days."
Well, these are the people who can do it.
"Then, how many points Ikupapa-san?"
"When I took it ten years ago, I got 285 points."
After that, it was a whirlpool of laughter.
For reference, the TOEIC test is 990 points, which is a perfect score.
"I could give a presentation in English even if I scored less than 300? I can't believe it!"
Well, I had other people make the presentation materials and speech manuscripts...

After that, I enjoyed communicating in English without knowing what I was saying.
It's a discovery because it's more fun than the core malware analysis.
Until then, I had always thought I had an English communication problem.

A fun job doesn't last so long, and two years later, I moved to a high school teacher.
The chances of using my favorite English have dramatically decreased.

I thought it was an excellent opportunity to study English from the basics.
I studied TOEIC and listened to NHK language broadcasts.
But this isn't interesting and won't last.
But I'm trying to make it work, but it's not fun.
Still, I made an effort for about three years.

In conclusion, it was a waste of time.
I also thought of quitting English.
But I can't forget the failure of that presentation.
I was worried about various things, and I learned by joining the online community a few months ago.
Among the various things I noticed, the most important thing was to know "the fun of outputting."

I was desperate.
So I started this English blog.
The output is fun and enjoyable, so let's add English.
Of course, it's so wrong...
And I heard that it was better to read it aloud, so I posted it on YouTube.

It's great to discover what I really did.
It's enjoyable to write in Japanese and English, regardless of the text.
Maybe it's not a side job, but it's fun, so it's okay.


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