Humans are essentially self-centered

-
Unconscious self-love.
People were inherently self-centered.
I've been wondering about this all the time.
From now on, even if you decide that you will live independently, it will be anxious about your surroundings.
When you try to do what you want to do, you become self-centered.
It's challenging to balance, and I hate it.
If you give up what you want to do, it will be more comfortable.

I still haven't had a good relationship with my wife, but the reason seems to be explained by unconscious self-love.

When I was married and had a small child, I don't have any hobbies in stock, so I think I was just in a state of love.
Also, because they had a common goal of raising children, you and I were doing well because they had the same purpose even if they had a trivial quarrel.
I think that my hobbies and preferences were similar, such as that I like alcohol and gamble moderately.
Then, for some reason, I decided to change.

What has changed

  • Stopped drinking
  • Stopped gambling
  • Decided to run 10 kilometers every day
  • Started funded investment
  • Reading books and enrolling in university
  • Study hard on a computer and got the highest qualification


I may have been self-improving regardless of my family and children.
I don't know how my wife thought about it, but if something initially attracted me, did I hate it because I had changed?

I thought my wife would ignore me because I didn't take good care of my family and children, but I think it might be because I've changed, so it makes sense.

I don't want to go back to myself, and I don't want to match my wife.
I still love it, I try to love it, but if it even doesn't improve, I think it's better to take a different path.


Japanese



コメント

コメントを投稿

このブログの人気の投稿

In return for altruism, self-satisfaction is OK

-
イメージ
I've been studying for a week on "The Elephant in the Brain." I am very calm that lies and egocentricity are human nature, and they are all together. Up until now, I was worried that I was the only one who was crazy, and when I saw someone full of altruistic heart, it was strange. I often lie to myself to get along with others, and I've been worried about this all the time. I have maintained my marital relationship through my self-deception. But when I couldn't put up with it and revealed the truth, the relationship got worse. However, I think we have found a mutual compromise. I can't say which one was better for now, but I would like to continue with the policy of not compromising without claiming. What I want to do in the future is that I want to deepen my connection with society while being self-centered. I have no altruism and no volunteer spirit. The reason is that it seeks a reward. So, if you're asking for a reward, I've thought that you should...
続きを読む

What's the laid back?

-
イメージ
The image of the word "laid back" is an uncle. If you say you're laid back, I'll be confused by not knowing whether you're complimented or humiliated. However, I haven't been told, but I think it belongs to a group with the laid back. I'm often told you're stable. But I'm just tolerant. I will forgive anything. The second place is forgiveness in VIA. I was bullied with elementary school and junior high school students, and even after I became a member of society, I had power harassment. I thought that was altogether, but what about reality? Perhaps the forgiving personality was because I had to forgive myself. That's why. Anger management doesn't come into play. I'm not angry, not much. I can't explain it well, but in a nutshell, an angry person looks like an alien. Why are you so angry? What? When I was young, I was often told that you weren't serious enough. I wonder if it's because I'm seriously doing it, but I'm ...
続きを読む

I made a vision board

-
イメージ
I made a vision board. https://blog.mindvalley.com/vision-board/ I couldn't make my goal verbalization well, but I thought I could do it with images, so I made it. It would be better to post it on a place that can see every day, such as on a corkboard; unfortunately, there is no such place, so I decided to decorate it as a desktop background of a PC, so I created it with PowerPoint. When I tried it, it was surprisingly fun. The goals are abstract and difficult to clarify, Invest 20% monthly, sleep 8 hours, self-cooking. I want to do my best this year, focusing on the three.
続きを読む